I'm Just the Co-Pilot

I know you have seen these before; most commonly on bumper stickers I would imagine. But I am going to tell you some stories that will prove to you that God is definitely not my co-pilot, but rather, I am just riding shot gun.

Most of you know, when I went back to work in October Chris and I were working what I call a split schedule. I would go in at 6am and work until noon in the office and then finish my day at home and he would go in at noon and work until 8pm. I was getting up around 5am and getting to work right around 6 or 6.15. The world is very dark at that time of day. There were a few parking lot street lamps but not much and often times the lights on the side walk leading to the door weren't on either. To say I was nervous being out and about at that hour is an understatement, but I did what I had to do to keep Eliza home and out of day care for an extra 3 months. After all, I am known around these parts as mom.

About a month or two into this schedule I arrived one morning at the same time and the sun was coming up. Hmmm....I remember thinking, that's a really pleasant surprise. The world was waking up with me, the orange of the sun was gorgeous. I remember feeling more secure about walking into the building. The next morning the same thing. It occurred to me that day, that I had Someone watching over me. I thought, God is doing this for little ole me so that I am not nervous. I even told someone at work about it. I thought it was pretty amazing. But it gets better. Just as quickly as the sun greeted me those mornings, my mornings turned back to dark. No sunrise at 6am.

I know what you are thinking, daylight savings time. But no, it went from pitch dark at 6am to sun rising at 6am to back to pitch dark. I never checked the news to see when the sunrise or sunsets were supposed to be during those days. I didn't have to.

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.
Genesis 28:15

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Now fast forward to this week. My bible study has started back up on Tuesday nights and the idea is to get you in the habit of spending about 30 minutes a day in prayer or learning from the bible. You go to class on Tuesday, then have a lesson 5 days out of the week and Sunday for church. I have had a hard time setting aside 30 minutes a day for my daily lesson and it isn't just for the daily lesson - I have a hard time setting aside time to do anything that is selfishly just for me; exercise is another example. Let's just be honest. By the time I get the boys in bed around 8.30 or 9pm I don't have much left in me to give to anything.

So I have been thinking this week how great it would be if I would just get up an hour earlier. I would have 30 minutes to walk and 30 minutes for my lesson. But really - if I get any less sleep than I already get, I might as well not even go to bed. Eliza's sleeping has been less than stellar lately with all the teeth and having a cold. However, even though she has been waking up around midnight to come to bed with us, she typically sleeps beyond the 6am hour. Get this - the past 2 mornings she has woken up at 5am. Not only has she woken up but I have been awake and not just groggy awake and needing to go back to sleep, but awake and feeling pretty good. Unfortunately, I didn't "get it" until today at work. And it hit me, He has heard my thoughts of wanting to get up earlier and He provided a gentle way for me to get up instead of hearing my alarm blaring at 5am. Only, I wasn't receptive. I didn't get the magnitude of what was happening until today.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
Matthew 7:7

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And finally, yesterday I received a phone call from day care to tell me that one of the girls that was feeding Eliza a bottle didn't put the cap on the bottle tight enough and about 5 ounces of breastmilk spilled on her and was wasted. Now, that may not seem like a very big deal, but pumping breastmilk is not fun. Nothing about it is fun. And now that I am not doing it anymore the milk that I have frozen in our deep freezer is very precious to me and I want to see to it that Eliza is able to remain on breastmilk for about another month using it. So when 5 ounces is wasted it is a big deal to me. When I went to school yesterday to pick her up, I saw the teacher that had the accident and she came up to me and apologized. I wasn't mean, but I wasn't forgiving or nice about it either. She assured me it wouldn't happen again and really, what more could have been done?

This morning when my sweet 5am alarm clock went off, I went downstairs to heat up a bottle for her. When it was ready I got it out of the warmer, put the lid on and came back upstairs to feed Eliza. She was eating and a few minutes into her eating I felt my arm and chest get really wet, I kind of pulled her away from me slightly so I could feel what it was (the lights were still off) and I was soaked. I looked down at the bottle and it was empty.

I had done the exact same thing as the teacher at day care. How about that for humility?

He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.
Proverbs 3:34
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I know this post was long and maybe I should have broken these up into 3 separate posts but I felt they were all so closely related. When I write, whether it is about my children, my family, my faith or anything else that I happen to write about, I write what is on my heart as open and honest as I can. I hope you were able to stay with me.

My bible study this go around is He Speaks to Me. It is teaching us to open our minds and our hearts to hear what He has to say. Just as I said above, I struggle to find 30 minutes a day for my lesson but I know He is speaking to me and I know I am listening.

God is not my co-pilot but I am humbled He allows me to be His.

Moments to Treasure

Before the world wakes up, my house is still silent, these are the moments I treasure.

And just as quickly as the flash popped out of my camera and focused on the two older sleeping beauties, my world got a little louder.

Happy Friday! We can play video games again tonight.

Tacos, Corn and a Trip to Urgent Care

I have told several of you this story because I am still just shaking my head but I mostly want to put it down as a reminder so that when Ethan is 15 and mad at me because I won't spend $80 on a pair of jeans from Abercrombie for him I can say "Do you know what you did to me on January 25, 2010??? Huh???? Well, do ya????"

Last night Ethan was telling me he was hungry and I was working on dinner for all of us solid food eaters as well as trying to get Eliza's cereal fixed and baby food thawed out. Multi tasking - it's what I do best. He was whining off and on and then about 5 minutes before I was putting the food on our plates he laid down in the floor in front of me and started crying telling me his BELLY HURT SO BAD HE WAS GOING TO DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Um, ok Ethan. Pick yourself up, your food is on the table, go forth and eat. So he sits down with us still whimpering and whining. We all start eating and he starts crying; a hard, alligator tear kind of cry. Telling me his stomach was hurting soooooo bad! Now, I get it. He is hungry. So I start feeding him because he tells me he can't take his arms off his belly to lift his spoon. Um, ok. Here's a bite. So I feed him about 5 bites of corn and he literally starts screaming again about how much pain he is in. So Chris and I look at each other and think, hmmm....what if???? So I pick him up, because he tells me he can't walk, I carry him to the car, buckle him in and off to urgent care we go. Now, thank goodness we have urgent care these days, because when I was a kid it would have been the emergency room at the cost of about $150, urgent care is only $35. Which by the way, Chris and I can have a wonderful meal from Outback for $35. To which we haven't in quite sometime. Just wanted to point that out.

So we get to urgent care, I fill out all the paperwork. He calms down a bit to lay in the chair and watch tv until it is our turn. The nurse calls us back and we go into a room. He starts asking what is wrong, I try to remain serious and drop the sarcasm, but really, Ethan could have been nominated for a emmy for the acting he was putting on at home. Remarkably, he is much calmer now. He takes all his vital signs. Yep, he has a heart beat. Yep, he is getting plenty of oxygen. Yep, his blood pressure is fine. Nope, no fever. So the doctor comes in and again, I am trying to tell the story the best I can without rolling my eyes and feeling like an idiot. The doctor goes to examine Ethan and everything appears fine. He talks to Ethan about where he is hurting, what happened to make it hurt, etc. And in the end the diagnosis was hunger. Hunger. $35 worth of hunger. The doctor, playing the devil's advocate gave Ethan a shot of Mylanta "just in case it was gas" (yes, I was rolling my eyes - this kid toots as much as his father, it wasn't gas). Then as the doctor was leaving the room, he said "Be sure and grab a lollipop on your way out." You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. A lollipop, I thought? Ethan smiled and I said don't even think about it.

This was the conversation when we got home.

Ethan: I think I want to eat my taco and corn now.
Me: Too bad, daddy has already cleaned up dinner and it is your bath time.
Ethan: But the doctor said I was hungry.
Me: Yep, and maybe you will think about that tomorrow night when we sit down for dinner.

See if he gets those $80 jeans one day.

Perfecting the Pincer Grasp

I have started giving Eliza a few fruit puffs to occupy her while I am trying to get dinner together.

She does pretty good with her pincer grasp at picking them up and getting them to her mouth.

The first time I gave her a few and she got one in her mouth she looked at me as if to say "What in the world is this and why have you been keeping it from me for so long????" She loved them!

It takes a lot of concentration for her to pick them up, but she is getting it.

As a side note, my Aunt Jan and Uncle Alvin think Eliza is a lot like my grandfather, Malcolm Hamilton because she smiles all the time. You can just look at her and she will smile at you. My grandfather was like that. And her day care teacher wrote on her score card today that Eliza was flashing her smile at anyone and everyone today at school.
Just look at that sweet little face (partially covered in cereal and sweet potatoes). Her eyes just light up and sparkle, she is getting those same amazing eye lashes that her brothers have and Chris and I have no idea where they get them from. Children are nothing short of a miracle.

Here's Your Sign.

Here's Your Sign

We have been struggling the past week to hold it together which is why I haven't taken the time to blog in a several days. Eliza started day care last week and lasted 3 days before she was home sick and if you have ever had a sick baby you know if a sick baby ain't sleepin', ain't nobody sleepin'. On top of that, she had her 6 month shots last week and she is cutting her 6th tooth. I feel like I am in the trenches. Last night she was up around midnight and then every hour thereafter. I finally put her in bed with me because at least then I could turn her on her side, support her with one hand while patting her back with the other all the while remaining in a laying down position. I am not close to exaggerating when I say I am tired. And really, tired doesn't describe it.

Saturday night I told myself "Self, you are going to church in the morning." And I was. I was ready. And then sometime in the middle of the night there was a wreck that by the sound of the sirens felt as if it occurred in my front yard. Loud. Sirens. Sirens that wake a baby from a sleep. Sirens that wake a 4 year old from a sleep. And then just when all the sirens stop and you think it must be over, there must have been someone injured because they start up again, presumably from an ambulance driving away. Only it sounded like they were parked in my front yard instead of driving to a hospital. The wreck must have hit an electric pole because our electricity was out and a few hours later when it came back on, our alarm system had to be set because it was beeping as if it wanted our attention too. I am telling you folks, if you ever want to see the devil at work, make up your mind that you are going to do something for the glory of God. He will come out to play, I promise you that.

We may have gone back to sleep around 4 or 5am and I was done for the day on Sunday. I didn't make it to church and the devil had his day. But I have told myself that God "gets me." He knows the sleep deprivation I am undergoing right now. He knows that I have days that I am holding onto a rope that is unraveling right beneath my fingers. So He knows I have days that all I can do is show up. I show up for my bible study. I show up for my daily lessons. I show up to pray. And I do it with an open heart. I show up.

Tonight was bible study and I told the women in my class about it, so watch out devil, I have 25 women praying that I can get my act together, shoes on my children and out the door Sunday morning. :-)

One of the things we talked about tonight and something that has been really heavy on my heart for a few weeks now is the idea that we are waiting on a sign. Show me a sign God. What do you want me to be doing right now? Show me a sign God. Where do you want my life to go? Show me a sign God. And this is where I have to laugh because I always think about Jeff Foxworthy and his "Here's Your Sign" jokes. I digress.

But when I think about this, I can't help but think that God is saying

"Hey, Tricia, you see that baby girl you are rocking? Here's Your Sign."

"Hey, Tricia, you see those boys giggling and playing? Here's Your Sign."

"Hey, Tricia, you see that husband that I have given you? Here's Your Sign."

So what are you waiting for? Stop waiting for a SIGN. This is your sign. Your sign is everything that you have been blessed with that is now referred to as your life. And if you keep sitting there waiting for a sign, your life is going to pass you right by.

So that's what is on my heart tonight. I have a few things to post about Eliza in a few minutes, but you will have to excuse me while I go try to quieten Owen as he is in his room talking to himself saying "Are you listening to me?" "You are not going to get a treat if you keep this up." I wonder where he gets that from?

Almost Heaven

Guess what we are doing?

Every Girl Needs a Few Hats

These are just some of the beautiful hats that our Aunt Jan has made for us.

(I think her eyes may really stay blue, after all.)

I really like this one.

It matched her crown shirt perfectly. And I love these little pants she is wearing. I think I could put ruffles on anything. They are from Chad and Kourtney.

Hey Chad! Hey Kourtney!

And then there is this little hat. Aunt Jan didn't make this one, but it is still super cute.

It's a cupcake! Complete with a cherry on top, although I didn't get a good photo of that part.

Baby's getting sleepy. This is her signature "I've had enough" move.

Almost bath time.