One Year Ago Today

I was laying in my bed alone and crying. I remember it so vividly. Painfully even. One year ago tonight, I lay in bed alone and angry. Angry that my husband was in the hospital and because he was in ICU, I couldn't spend the night with him. I remember feeling lost. The house too big. The bed too big. Life too big. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of Chris's heart attack. I have it on my calendar at work but since it fell on a Sunday and as stated, my calendar is at work, it slipped my mind. He came in the bedroom earlier tonight and mentioned something about it and it stopped me cold for a second. One year ago, my life changed instantaneously. I knew without a doubt our relationship would change immediately. For the better.

Funny enough, tonight I am sleeping in this same big bed alone. But this time it is because we have two little girls sleeping in Ethan's bed and Ethan and Chris are sleeping upstairs. And all is right with the world. Now.

I have learned over the past year that he is just as much a part of me as I am a part of me. And I don't ever want to forget that.